by douglas e johnson

Chapter One

Dream-day, just another dutiful daydream deep-sea-diving into oceans relative, some flower-blossoming akin to last-passing, fleeting dreams, yet…so…differing. Changed. Changed an eye was transformed – not the same just as me before. Opening soars…unwounded dreams change us if we let them break, we heal-se, naught with our lies in just us-we are not the same as what-who-when where we re:before. How? We…dreambits our why lives from some wee are know more, a body spirit may be – WILL – to be a gain. Known friends, for I dreamt mine preterit over and over but not the same underneath. Seemlessly stitched into a time-framed patchwork equaled sum-times we knot as under-standalone all ways at once familiar. Like family. Dreamsiblings reassembling emblematic poses, puzzling pieces of…

My dreams? I sense they’re dreamed by “else” – mothers, fathers, sisters…
others. One more another for they reknew my dreams, perhaps new
they meant, what could tell me these? Now interpret they are meant.
Or did they, no couldn’t have been from – where, some
on another theatrical play to step in missing a marked time?

Now oblivious to the hour as they must be scene, elsewhere been from one outside, not to be placed or planted there standing by, next to one other…

Their dreams? There, they are these – those dreams. They are dreams, aren’t
they? Was I lonely an actor in scripts unwritten by human hands…

Flow like water, threw me, bury me flooding, tearing up, waters rise over my head, hands, eyes see waters cold-choking, suffocate-drowning but yet I breathe, ah, to saturate my fingertips – then water ages, laps, licks, turns around, seep-swirls, urges, sentient old waters freshly drip-drop-drop-SPLOOSH-pour out, asperse my spirit, waters flow-hovering…

Waterspeak to me, hintelling matters, reach in spite of a scent outreach?

Suddenly warming like blood. I am offered, parted, altered. For the corners, oh, this blood filled dream riverswallows reign pours in my wounds, washing me cleansed.

To, a gain I ask, “Are these dreams mine?” Or hours imply an effort-effect of what I had eaten? Too much bread before bed? Could this be I – ate much too much?

Begin to dream, fill a hole, breakstop, make me – who? How my bones puzzle. Splinter-dreamshatter, in constructs deemed reconstructed, healed, a thing to learn from these dreams, isn’t there? Head over heels in blood…

Do they have me, give a reason for them or my time from time
on time to time through they make in essence under, stand me like distant
languages, foreign tongues afire. Strangled – what’s a word anyway?
Words weigh and wait upon our lips,
sitting there perched as birds to escape cages
we may have made alive or dead, words live within us.

Words from letters paired make words together letters written form a message love letters to my heart, spirit me, messes made of my soul identity, date, rejuvenated, redefining mere dreams more – sew they seamed.

Was it all a dream? Are these letters deafening to refine?
Inject meaning into my dreams,
hard to hear so far away ingested need alike anecdotes,
a cute pun couture, congregating, cleaving jigsaw traversing life,
a maze dreamland full-films a word. Let alone an other.

To call me a “dreamer” dreaming dreams – some may but are two-share. I can’t be the only boy dreaming…meaning something moored yet drifting, inter-prattle, waive upon waves on sea ocean water-seize fathoms deep, insight only shadows of reality darkly mirrored spectacles…

Reflect-gather, collectogether, correct-create, curateaming beautiful arts,
in sowing seeds often plants growing engardened even there – yearning
for more light-ready, learn, prepare memories.
Etched in minds eternal, dreams brand-burn
leaving markscarshadow shades of blurred visions
want on desire firengaging ragged flames rise in a puff billowing smoke
pillow-loud clouds guiding, we walk amongst and into them
fleeting-fled heavy-footed, so real yet – eyes
know not aimless dreams wandering in my head…

So here I am, a bandied one, others bothered and left me wondering, well, in a subway…

Value by HBII 051918

beautiful beautiful flowers bouquet colorPhoto by Rosie Ann on Pexels.com

“You have no value.”

“You have no worth.”

“You can do nothing without me.”

Have you heard these defeatist words directed toward you? How does it feel? Does it make you angry? Do you want to do something about it? Are you motivated or defeated when someone talks to you that way?

Have you been in a relationship where the other person said, “You’re nothing without me. If I wasn’t here, you couldn’t…fill in the blanks.” None of it is true. You HAVE value. You have AMAZING worth!

Don’t seek your worth in others. Few people can do anything you cannot do for yourself. Of course I’m not talking about people who seriously need physical assistance or medical care due to illness or injury, which may incapacitate or limit them from self-care. Yet even then, with proper loving help, a physically challenged person can do incredible things!

My friend Mike is a good example. He was in a serious accident years ago and is now unable to use his arms and legs. In spite of this he successfully runs a family business. Sure he has help from close members of his family, but he doesn’t choose to sit around feeling sorry for himself. He gets up every day and works toward his goals for success. He works daily for the success of his family. He is proud to be available and supportive for his children. Mike puts in an extra effort to have a smile on his face and a good attitude to show his family all things are possible in the spirit of true love and determination.

Mike is not driven but directed bye love and caring for his family and others. This motivates him to do things far beyond himself and the realm of possibilities he might see if he were only to feel sorry for himself.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It does you no good. It drags down everyone around you. Let go of depression, guilt, and anything else that may be in your way to accomplishing wonderful things!

Focus on little things you know you can accomplish, realistic goals you can feel good about once you attain them. Maybe it sounds easy to others, but simply getting out of bed may be your goal for the day until you can do that regularly. After you conquer that, move on to bigger and better things.

Again – be realistic. Input from others may be helpful, but you are the one who must live with your goals and feel satisfied by reaching them at the end of each day. Don’t set unattainable goals or they will surely defeat you, which may cause a setback making it more challenging to bounce back.

When you build confidence, open up to others you trust. This in itself is an important goal worth attaining. We need others, not for approval or to use as crutches, but for feedback and trust. Make sure these are people who know what it means to experience setbacks yet achieve success in spite of their failures. Those who have “been through the fire” are down to Earth and realistic about life’s possibilities. They have more peace about them, so are able to think more calmly and clearly through choices you may be facing.

Take the first three statements in this blog and turn them around to build hope.

“You have great value.”

“You have immense worth.”

“You can do anything!”

Avoid negativity until you are certain you can handle it. If needed, avoid it completely. What good does it do you anyway?

Sea Change, Bee Change by HBII 050518

DSCN8292The sea is a vast, untamed wilderness, frightening most – especially people unable to swim. Imagine yourself in a boat, even a big boat, say – 30ft or longer – tossed about by square waves at the mercy of the sea…what would you see? Yourself at the bottom of the sea? Walking on the waves? Perception is 9/10ths of the wall. Oh, kids these days…eating, snorting, and smoking stuff not intended to be eaten, snorted, or smoked. Tricks are for magicians.

A wildfire is spreading under the sea. A movement, wave, a tsunami – sit-ins, walkouts, an utter lack of faith in things undeserved of faith. “You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out…” Doesn’t matter which foot, by the way. All-in is all in. Make a commitment – don’t be committed. Be guided, not driven. Be in control of your own goals and your destiny.

Problems exist on “both sides of the fence” (aisle, etc.) and we are criminal in more ways than one. Asset forfeiture is an example. We must pull our heads out of the “race debate” and see it for what it is. US citizens experience forfeiture of their homes, cars, etc. without prosecution. There’s a better way.

Conservatives say, “We must lead the way to reform criminal prosecution.” Liberals focus on disparity in “who” is impacted. Let’s reform the process in a bipartisan manner so ALL people benefit. It doesn’t have to be turned into a race issue. It doesn’t have to be a conservative or liberal issue. Both are divisive and lead us down another rabbit hole, away from resolving the problem.

One side cries for the blood of the other when we must unite under the same banner to further realistic reform. We should begin from where we agree as a springboard to real progress. Following the same paths tread in the past, those exampled by corruption and cronyism, is regressive. Regression has us falling down, tripping over ourselves, burying ourselves blind at the bottom of the sea.

Oceans dominate our weather and Earth’s surface. They can create a wildfire scenario rather quickly. Fall out of the boat and begin drowning. Is humanity at its best when following suit? The ocean has no brain. Humanity is made up of individuals who breathe and think and act differently than one another. This is to be cherished rather than sanitized. A squeaky clean society is a boring society. We are on a path to losing our culture. Better to preserve the value we have as a culture than to cultivate newly unbased values racing toward chaos.

What makes these United States work in coherence is unity, as a place where we can agree on what we know and work on the rest. We agree more than disagree, so let’s focus on what we know and where we agree as a starting point for discussion. Lately we seem more interested in being disagreeable. If we can’t work together as unique individuals, we will not be able to live harmoniously beside one another. True freedom and unity through independence is of the utmost importance people come to the United States to become US citizens, so they can become part of this wonderful experiment.

Referring to my previous post: “Liberal” (Dictionary.com states): “…advocating liberalism, especially freedom of the individual and governmental guarantees of individual rights and liberties”; “favorable to or in accord with concepts of the maximum individual freedom possible…as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties”, “relating to representational forms of government rather than aristocracies and monarchies”, “free from prejudice or bigotry; tolerant.”

Bees are dying and our seas are changing. Both are concerning, even disconcerting. Chaos spreads like wildfire. Water cleanses. We can work together and bring about improvement everyone believes in. Change we desire in all areas, including the US criminal justice system, is best made when we discuss ideas instead of engaging in identity politics and hatred for others. Being thin-skinned has no place in modernity. What is your ideal future? Is it a world of hope and joy or anxiety and constant threats on your life, foreign and domestic, on local, state and federal levels? Do we descend into chaos through disintegration or ascend out of chaos through reintegration?

Politicians must be held accountable to truth. We must help them “rub sleep from their eyes.” It’s time to again be a melting pot where ideas are exchanged, people are valued, and laws are upheld for the betterment of all in these United States. It’s time to put out the burning keg that’s become a wildfire.

Next time maybe we’ll “talk about” bees…

Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You! – HBII 042418

20180209_081107This week’s blog is about…780 words. For those who read quickly, it won’t take long; for others, it…shouldn’t take long. <PAUSE>

“Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You!” Heard this before? Chances are you may have experienced this once or twice in your life. It isn’t a door-slam in the face. It’s an OPPORTUNITY (AWE-PORT-UNITY): Leaving you with a sense of AWE at the PORT in front of you for UNITY in your life. A convergence leading you a way out of something and into something better.

Some say ‘DCUWCY’ is “sneaky”, but it isn’t sneaky – it’s exactly what you need to hear, though you may not initially think so. Now…if you hear, “We’ll be in touch”, it’s not Ah-nold saying, “I’ll be back.” It’s closer to, “We want you to THINK we’ll contact you, but we won’t.” There is a small chance of follow-up, but don’t count on it. Don’t hesitate – move in to something else, something BETTER.

“Seriously; that is, actually, ah…um, so – literally, look – it’s essentially, erm, basically, uh – completely and totally very simple. Like, uh, really – the thing is, for what it’s worth, obviously…y’know, right?” Do words have meaning? Yes, yes they do.

Any of this sound familiar? It isn’t about liberal democrat or conservative republican. It _IS_ about derision, division – “DO-AS-I-SAY-NOT-AS-I-DO.” Seems to be all around us, surrounding us, sometimes as though it envelopes us in an attempt to bury us. Not to worry. BE PROACTIVE. Be the change you believe in. By joyfully demonstrating what you believe to be TRUTH, shun the naiveté’ and negativity of the whirled (yes, I meant to write that).

None of us fit into a mold, no matter what you’ve heard or what you’ve been told. Corruption & regressivity, hatred & passivity, desire for permanent, personal daycare to provide “safe spaces” for all is not the answer nor is chaos & confusion. Judge actions, not people. Find your niche’ & work from there toward your own open skies…

Wiki: “Open skies: To liberalize industry & create a free-market environment” (in a few words). Do you see how closely we live inside our definitions? A suggestion? Let’s use words to mean what they mean and stop redefining them.

Point being: “Liberal”: Dictionary.com states: “…pertaining to…or advocating liberalism, especially freedom of the individual and governmental guarantees of individual rights and liberties”; “favorable to or in accord with concepts of the maximum individual freedom possible…as guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties”, “favoring or permitting freedom of action…with respect to matters of personal belief or expression: a liberal policy toward dissident artists and writers”, “relating to representational forms of government rather than aristocracies and monarchies”, “free from prejudice or bigotry; tolerant.”

…or “Conservative”: Again “Dictionary.com” states: “cautiously moderate or purposefully low: a conservative estimate” and “traditional in style or manner; avoiding novelty or showiness: conservative suit.”, but it seems most now see it as only “disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change” just as most seem to think we can’t favor “progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs.” Why limit ourselves to the ideal of an upper case letter “C” or “L” to separate us into two political parties who are unable to work together?

Are you really a liberal or a conservative? Does a definition define you or do you define yourself?

These terms are not mutually exclusive, but are more unified than understood. One can be traditional and cautiously moderate while favoring and advocating freedom of the individual, individual rights and liberties guaranteed by law and secured by governmental protection of civil liberties, specifically respecting matters of personal belief or expression free from prejudice or bigotry. One can be tolerant and compassionate while believing in the Constitution of the United States, which in fact supports the above as related to representational gov’t as opposed to fascism (e.g. aristocracies and monarchies).

Isn’t this what those who found the US fought and died for? Why then are we so hung-up on being or labeling each other as “Liberals” or “Conservatives”? Do you sometimes feel as though you’re being MANIPULATED by those terms? Do you listen to others who TELL YOU what they mean and what you’re supposed to do as a “Liberal” or “Conservative”?

Don’t be “puppetized” by talking heads in radio or on TV – think for yourself. Make your own decisions. Find a place where you can agree with your neighbor and engage in calm, respectful discussion. Stop the name-calling – don’t we reprimand children for this behavior? Something to think about…